Who It’s For: Entrepreneurs, Senior Business Leaders, Managers, Sales Professionals, Female Leaders, and R&D, Innovation, DEI, and Other Critical Teams
19 Things I’ve Learned in 19 years in Business
Darlene Hawley
The Real Truth About Building a Business That Lasts
Nineteen years ago, I was running myself into the ground.
Working in retail management. 60+ hours a week. A single mom.
I honestly didn't know if I was coming or going most days.
I was so tired!
I’d get home late, crash into bed, and wake up already feeling behind.
When I was working, I was thinking about my sons and what I was missing out on.
When I was at home, I was fielding calls from work and feeling stressed.
On the outside, it looked like I was doing it all and was a superhero. Yet inside, I knew I couldn’t keep going the way that I was and that something had to change.
I knew I wanted more.
More freedom.
More purpose.
More time with my family.
More alignment in the work that I was doing.
Then I saw an opportunity to become a business coach and franchise owner.
And I took a leap of faith... and prayed that the net would appear.
And if I'm being honest? I didn’t even really know what a business coach was. But as I read the description, I could feel something in me saying, This is YOU!
Helping people grow. Asking questions. Getting curious. Solving problems. Seeing potential in others before they saw it themselves. That’s what I’d been doing my whole life, as far back as I can remember in middle school. I was always the person people came to.
On my very first call about the opportunity, it hit me in my gut... I’ve been coaching all along. This was my thing. My superpower.
The first two years were a mix of excitement and struggle. I loved the clients I had, but the way I was told to market myself, it felt off to me. I felt like I was playing dress up in my mom's closet, and I just felt so inauthentic to who I am.
Eventually, I stopped trying to be the coach I thought I “should” be and started connecting with people in a way that felt natural... real conversations, building trust, showing up as me. That’s when things started to shift.
The right clients started finding me... people who resonated with my approach, trusted my guidance, and were ready to do the work. And the results were incredible... businesses scaling, leaders stepping up, voices getting stronger and more confident than ever before.
It hasn’t been all rainbows, cupcakes, and rose colored glasses.
I’ve made choices my gut told me were right... and some that cost me A LOT. I’ve had to face the uncomfortable and pivot when things weren’t working (which was way more often than I ever thought would be possible), and keep showing up even when I didn’t have the energy or the desire.
But every challenge, every win, every misstep... It’s all shaped the way I coach and the way I lead today.
So here are the 19 biggest lessons I’ve learned in 19 years of business... the real, school of hard-knock life truths that I hope will inspire and help guide you on your own path as entrepreneurs or executive leaders.
1. Your voice is your most powerful asset.
The years I stayed quiet out of fear cost me many opportunities, things I didn’t even realize I was missing until I started trusting myself more and speaking up in ways I never knew I was capable of.
2. You don’t need to be the loudest to be heard.
You just need to be clear, confident, and have clarity when you speak. The right people that you're meant to connect with will connect with your message.
3. Sometimes the “perfect” client isn’t perfect.
Trust your gut, stop ignoring red flags in the sales process, it has always cost me...time, energy, and joy.
4. Small shifts create big results.
Take baby steps towards your goals every day. Pick 1-3 things each day to move the needle forward. Small consistent tweaks and steps get you to your goal faster.
5. Your story is your superpower.
I hid mine for years, thinking it wasn’t “professional” enough or wondering why anyone would even care. Sharing it brought in my most aligned clients and has people asking more questions and leaning in more.
6. Saying yes to everything is a fast track to burnout.
If I say yes to this, what am I saying no to for myself? The question that I use as a filter for everything in my life. Also, no is a complete sentence. No justification required.
7. The inner voice never fully goes away.
It’s been there before every big stage, new offer, or price raise. I’ve learned to coach myself and get curious with the stories I'm telling myself and shift from negative to finding the positive in everything.
8. Trust your gut.
Trust and listen to what your body is telling you. You know the answers, they live inside of you.
9. Relationships are everything.
Your network is your networth. Who can you serve and connect with today without any strings attached?
10. You and your business will only grow as much as you do.
Invest in yourself, read the books, listen to the podcast, hire the coach, and take the training. You'll thank yourself later.
11. Not everyone will get you... and that’s ok.
Not everyone will like you or understand the type of impact you're making in the world. And that's okay. Those that matter will.
12. Energy is contagious.
Protect your energy before you speak, coach, or lead. Create spaces that fill you up, not break you down. My people love that I'm down to earth, humble and that I make them feel grounded after spending time together.
13. Selling is serving and helping others.
Lead with curiosity and value. The more you focus on how you can help, the easier it will be to slow down and help others. Over time, you build trust. Remember, people buy from people they know, like, and trust.
14. Set clear boundaries and protect your business and your sanity.
Get clear on what matters, what you're willing to commit to, and how you can best make an impact.
15. Your website is your home base.
It's the first place people will go to learn more about you and your story. Make sure they see you for who you truly are, not what you think they want to see.
16. Follow-up is key.
Keep in touch with people, offer value, and stay top of mind. When they're ready, they'll remember who to come back to.
17. Celebrate every win, big or small.
Stop and celebrate the wins, no matter how small. Enjoy your favorite chocolate, pop the champagne, go for a walk, take a trip, but most importantly, acknowledge what you've accomplished.
18. You don’t have to do it alone.
Create a support system of business/work besties, family, friends, and coaches who will cheer you on and keep you motivated and inspired.
19. Your voice matters.
Some of my most impactful moments came from speaking up even when I had giant butterflies in my belly, a raspy voice, and felt like I couldn't find the right words. Do it anyway... because we can all do hard things.
Let’s Celebrate Together 🎉
Whether you’ve been in business or a leadership role for 19 days or 19 years, the lessons keep coming.
To celebrate my 19th business anniversary, I’m offering something special:
✨ A 1:1 private coaching session for just $190.
In our time together, we’ll:
Pinpoint the one or two thing that will make the biggest difference in your visibility or leadership right now
Clear the clutter so you know exactly what to focus on next
Create an action plan you can start implementing immediately
Practice real-life scenarios of hard conversations you need to have so you feel confident when leading them
If you’ve been wanting to work with me but haven’t taken the leap yet, this is the perfect time. One session. No long-term commitment. Just focused, personalized coaching to move you forward... fast.
📅 Book your anniversary session here →https://calendly.com/darlenehawley/60min
Only 10 spots available.
Here’s to using your voice, standing out, and building a life that works for you.
Cheers to the next chapter. 🥂
_____________________________________________________________________
💬 Celebrating 19 years MadLib Prompt
Fill in the blanks ⬇️ and share yours with me
No overthinking... just the first thing that pops into your head.
*After *(number) years of doing (something you love), I’ve learned that (lesson learned).
My favorite thing about working with (type of person) is (what they bring to the table).
And if I could give one piece of advice to my younger self, it would be (short, powerful advice).
Here is mine:
After 19 years of coaching, I’ve learned that clarity changes everything.
My favorite thing about working with women leaders is their courage to speak up even when it feels hard.
And if I could give one piece of advice to my younger self, it would be: “Stop waiting... start now and make all your dreams come true.”
✨Ready to Own Your Story and Attract Your Dream Clients?✨
If you’re ready to stop second-guessing your message and start using storytelling as a powerful tool to connect, inspire, and sell—then I’d love to invite you to my It’s Time to Own Your Story: Mini-Course.
In this self-paced course, you’ll learn how to:
✔️ Identify the key moments in your story that captivate your audience.
✔️ Share your story in a way that builds trust and positions you as the go-to expert.
✔️ Use storytelling across your website, social media, and sales conversations to attract and convert more clients.
Plus, you’ll get a
step-by-step workbook and
personal feedback on your brand story—so you can start sharing with confidence.
Hey There!
I'm Darlene
As a mother, wife, connector, and dream builder, I’m Darlene Hawley, the founder of DarleneHawley.com and an Executive Leadership & Businesss Coach dedicated to empowering leaders like you.
My passion lies in helping ambitious professionals cultivate their unique leadership style while crafting an authentic and impactful personal brand. Through my coaching, we’ll work together to build a solid foundation that not only inspires your team but also drives results and growth within your organization.
Since 2007, I have been committed to guiding leaders and entrepreneurs in launching and scaling their businesses with confidence and clarity.
Today, I focus on supporting women in reaching their leadership goals and living their dream lives—all while balancing the joys of raising my family and creating meaningful memories each day.
Together, we’ll transform your challenges into opportunities, allowing you to lead with authenticity and inspire those around you.
I was facilitating a one-day Speak Up & Influence team-building experiential training when I noticed her sitting quietly in the back of the room. She participated, but never fully spoke her mind, staying just under the radar, what I like to call "playing it safe". After one of the vocal empowerment activities, I walked over and said, “You know, the way you just helped your group reframe that challenge? That’s leadership. And I don’t think anyone’s told you lately... but you have a really powerful presence when you speak.” She blinked, stunned. Then smiled...a BIG cheesy grin. “Wow. I… don’t think anyone’s ever said that to me,” she said. “I thought I was just rambling.” That moment changed her energy and how she showed up the rest of the day. She spoke up more. She leaned in. She took more space. By the end of the day, she was laughing with her colleagues and, dare I say, being Bold and having FUN. That’s the power of being seen. Not liked. Not evaluated. Not coached. Witnessed. Witnessing Is Deeper Than Praise Recognition isn’t just about saying “good job.” It’s about creating space for people to feel seen in the room. And as an executive leadership coach, trainer, and speaker, I believe this is one of the most powerful tools we have. It’s part of why I teach the Step into Your Moxie® Vocal Empowerment Framework to help people speak with confidence and presence, And to help them feel safe enough to show up as unapologetically as themselves. The framework includes: Naming the Inner Critic Creating Psychological Safety Clarifying the Message Owning Presence Moving People to Take Action But none of that sticks if we don’t feel witnessed. The Real Role of Recognition in Leadership Recognition is not limited to annual performance reviews. It’s being in the moment with someone. It’s telling the truth of what you see... and helping them see it too. When we recognize someone for who they are, not just what they do, it creates: Trust Confidence Belonging Momentum It tells them, “You matter. Right now. Just as you are.” And for many people, that’s enough to shift everything. How Vocal Empowerment Starts with Being Seen I’ve worked with countless leaders who don’t need help with strategy... they need to be reminded they have a voice worth sharing. Their ideas aren’t the problem. Their presence is stifled by years of not being heard. And when someone finally says, “I see you. I hear you. I believe you have something valuable to say,”... they rise to the occasion. That’s what witnessing does. That’s what coaching is. And that’s what powerful leadership should include. My Truth About Leadership + Visibility I believe every single person deserves to be put in a position where they are the leader. But leadership is not one-size-fits-all. It’s not about being the loudest or most polished. It’s about being thoughtful about the right kind of visibility... and showing up unapologetically as yourself. We need more leaders who understand this. Who witness others without fixing them. Who show people what’s possible by being real, not rehearsed. How does it feel when someone truly witnesses you... not just your performance, but your presence? And who in your world could use that kind of recognition right now? Say it. Share it. Watch them light up. Try This: A Visibility Icebreaker That Builds Trust Here’s a simple, powerful exercise I love using to open workshops, team meetings, or small groups: Two Truths and a Lie: Leadership Edition Each person shares: Two true things about how they lead, speak, or show up One “lie” they used to believe about themselves Example: ✔ I’m a clear communicator ✔ I make people feel safe when I lead ✖ I’m not good at public speaking (← the old lie) This twist brings visibility and vulnerability together... without putting anyone on the spot. It allows people to own their growth and shift their inner critic by speaking it out loud. Try it. Let me know how it goes with your next team meeting. Coming Next in Part 4: Crafting Connection: Simple Rituals to Help You and Your Team Feel Seen Because being witnessed isn’t a one-time act. It’s a culture. It’s a practice. And it starts with you.
We’ve never been more connected... and never felt so unseen. With a few taps, we can join a Zoom room, drop into a DM, or post something vulnerable for hundreds of people to witness. But there's a disconnect. And in a tech-driven world where everything moves fast and engagement is measured in emoji reactions… are we truly connecting... or just being consumed? “To be recognised, you have to be seen, you have to be heard – and that requires a witnessing that can’t happen in two-second increments.” —— Allison J Pugh in her article The Unseen in Aeon Magazine You can post every day and still feel invisible. You can be in a dozen Slack channels and still feel isolated. You can have 10k followers and feel like no one is really paying attention. Because we’ve built a world where connection is constant... but deep roots are rare. The Pace of Tech vs. the Slowness of Being Seen We scroll fast. We skim emails. We record meetings and never rewatch them. But being seen takes time. It requires presence. Stillness. The very things today’s digital culture works against. And when you’re constantly “on”, but rarely witnessed... it’s easy to feel like you’re disappearing in plain sight. This is especially true for entrepreneurs and leaders. We’re told to post, share, create, show up, stay visible… and yet, we’re rewarded for comments, not true connection. That’s the tension we’re living in... and the one we need to name. Why I Don’t Create for Social (and What I Do Instead) Let’s get honest, social media isn’t the main event... it’s the after-party. The first time someone finds me isn’t on LinkedIn. It’s at a speaking event, on a podcast, or through a referral. Then they follow me on social. Then they join my newsletter. Social media isn’t where I get discovered. It’s where I nurture relationships that already exist. That’s why I don’t create for the algorithm... I write for my community. I share my heart through emails and long-form blog or video content. Then I repurpose it on social... not to “go viral,” but to stay connected. And here’s the magic part: Some of my clients? They’ve been on my list for 6+ years. Never replied to a post. Never commented. And one day... they book a call. Because they’ve been listening the whole time. They were waiting for the right moment.... not the right reel. When Tech Makes You Feel Small But even with that perspective, I still feel it. That sting when you pour your heart into a post and it gets 3 likes. That feeling after a Zoom room full of “great people!”… but the coffee chat that follows doesn't convert to referrals or business. That’s what the fast pace of our digital world does. It makes us visible... but not witnessed. It makes us accessible... but nothing deeper becomes of it. You can have the right lighting, captions, camera angle... and still feel like no one’s really seeing the person behind the post. The Shift: From Performance to Presence The solution isn’t more hustle or noise. It’s more presence. So, if you're feeling invisible right now, even while showing up “everywhere,” hit pause and take a breath. Ask yourself: Am I sharing because I have to, or from a place of inspiration? Am I connecting, or just posting to stay in the feed? Who am I hoping will really see me? Then, choose one way to show up differently this week. Call someone instead of commenting. Write the post that feels inspiring, not strategic. Or close the laptop and go be with real people, even when it feels uncomfortable. Because yes, people are watching... even if they’re silent. But more importantly, you deserve to feel connected, even when tech feels like it's sucking your soul.
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